Coachella 2009 is…..dumb

Stop the rumors!  The list for Coachella is out (via Pitchfork)!  We can finally stop speculating about a Blur/The Smiths/Pavement reunion.  But surely there’s something as good or better than last years’ MBV reunion, right?

Wrong!  Listen to these headliners! Friday: Paul McCartney.  Seriously?  If you played at the Super Bowl halftime show, doesn’t that automatically disqualify you from appearing at the most pretigious “alternative” music festival in the world.  Kitsch value for McCartney ended somewhere around….Band on the Run.  Love the Beatles (althought they’re still awfully over-rated and not as good as The Who), but this is the wrong forum for him.

Saturday: The Killers.  At least McCartney’s put our a good album, unlike the Killers.  Why not make White Lies the headliner if you want alternative anthem rock?  They’ve got the number one album in England and don’t have a lead singer who spends most of the concert pretending to rock out on his keyboard (yes, I officially hate you Chris Martin).  I’ll go through the support bands later, but this day is utter shit.  So you’re stuck in 100+ degree temperatures for the entire day, watching bad bands after spending Friday night singing Hey Jude with 100,000 other idiots.

Sunday: The Cure.  Quick, who’s more washed up: Paul McCartney or The Cure?  At least McCartney can still fill stadiums.  This used to be my favorite band in the world (true confession) and I gave up on them in 1989.  This is the spot usually reserved for the mega-cool reunion (Pavement would have been nice here.  C’mon Spiral, I know you want to).  In summation: horrible headliners.

The strange thing is, they’ve done a better job than usual of putting together the rest of the line-up.  I would have expected them to follow form and pick the best bands of late 2007-early 2008.  Instead, they’ve nailed just about everyone and gotten some bands who aren’t on the road right now.

My picks?  Here’s how I’d bill it if I had to keep everyone on the night that they’re currently scheduled.  As an added treat, I’ve included live videos for all of these bands.  Enjoy!


White Lies (why are they so far down on the bill?  They’ll be on the cover of Rolling Stone by the end of the year.

Alberta Cross

The Airborne Toxic Event

A Place To Bury Strangers (an odd pick to play in front of 100,000 people since I saw them a couple of months ago in front of about 30 people.  Still a good band.)

We Are Scientists

Crystal Method


Superchunk (the only reunion deserves to headline)

Ida Maria (the best band schedule to play Coachella)

Band of Horses

Amy Winehouse (just to see if she punches anyone or passes out)



My Bloody Valentine (kind of a yawn, but one of the best bands of all-time is always invited.  What better way to end the festival by blowing up the speakers?  “Is it just me or does Robert Smith sound….crackly?”)

Vivian Girls

The Knux (so under-rated!)

Jenny Lewis

Public Enemy (Should this festival be re-named “Oldchella”?)


Obviously Friday is the best day and if I was going, I’d leave immediately after Ida Maria plays early on Saturday.  I suspect Coachella will stay on my short list of things I’ve never done for eternity.  This certainly isn’t the one to go to.  Most of the good bands will be playing at SXSW.  Road trip?  Stay tuned and cross your fingers.


~ by toddc2001 on January 30, 2009.

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